A Good Lieutenant's Guide
by himawarixxsandz
Summary: this kind of focuses more on the relationship between each shinigami captain and their lieutenant than the actual lieutenant...oh well...rated T for language and extremely, ephemerally tiny atomic,really shounen-ai implications


First.

He invisibly glares out at all of Seireitei with pupil-less eyes. Even when the wind blows, it doesn't even ruffle the tips of his equally white hair.

Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryuusai doesn't show it, but he looks fondly at his lieutenant through the side of his eyes.

A lieutenant should always be the spitting image of his captain.

Second.

Tearing open another bag of chips—possibly his fifteenth that afternoon—he begins to stuff them routinely into his mouth. He doesn't even notice, or care, that the crumbs are falling onto his captain's head. The height difference doesn't even occur to him.

That is, until Soifon gives him a look that would reduce a smaller man into a pile of meager ashes. He gulps the present mouthful and grabs the nearest subordinate, stuffing the bag into the girl's hands and then shoves her away.

Soifon smiled.

A lieutenant should always fear their captain.

Third.

His eyes were cast emptily ahead, walking quietly by Gin Ichimaru. Gin smiles widely, until all of his teeth are displayed, and asks what's wrong. His lieutenant says nothing. Gin perks one eye open and stares his subordinate straight in the eye and smiles even wider—if possible. The boy ducked his head slightly and apologizes for lying, and begins to weave his problem before his captain.

A lieutenant should always trust their captain—even if they shouldn't.

Fourth.

Retsu Unohana simply tilts her head and smiles after saying the invitation. Her lieutenant widens her eyes and stutters a disagreement, even though its clear she wants to accept. Retsu merely repeats the offer and reasons with her.

The girl blinks and smiles complacently, and indeed says yes.

A lieutenant should always have a friendship with their captain.

Fifth.

She smiles shyly and asks if she is a good lieutenant. Sosuke Aizen returns the smile and agrees; of course she is wonderful subordinate. He is very lucky to have her and simply wouldn't know what to do if she was ever unable to work. She frowns and huffily claims that nothing can keep her from staying by his side forever, faithfully and happily. She trusts him to help her do it.

He smiles and pats her head.

A lieutenant should always be naïve enough for their captain to mold them—and break them, if need be.

Sixth.

He scowls fiercely at his captain; Byakuya Kuchiki does not scowl back. Merely, he gazes calmly, serenely and apathetically back. With a few quiet words he once again asks if his lieutenant has yet to complete the allotted paperwork. His lieutenant scowls more heavily, reddens slightly, looks away and mutters almost indistinguishably that no, he hasn't.

However, before Byakuya can open his mouth again, his lieutenant quickly says with an even darker scowl that paperwork is stupid and how come his promotion takes him closer to the filing cabinets and farther away from the battlegrounds?

Byakuya arches an eyebrow. His lieutenant translates from the expression that his captain is pissed and therefore; he'd best take the paperwork and silently make his escape—which he does.

But Byakuya really is naught but amused.

A lieutenant should always be rebellious, lest, they bore their captain.

Seventh.

He runs into the room, shoves the door open and slides in to the cushion like a human baseball player slides into home—hurried by triumphant. He wipes the sweat from his forehead, adjusts his sunglasses and prays to dear God that he won't be noticed.

Sajin Komamura turns around. His lieutenant balks slightly, even though there is no way he can know what his captain is thinking by the expression—the headgear outs that possibility.

Sajin takes a step forward and asks if his lieutenant had fun with the Eleventh Division last night and how is his hangover doing?

His lieutenant very visibly swallows and replies with a small, "good" which, in his rough, baritone sounds immensely out of place.

A lieutenant should always be predictable to their captain.

Eighth.

She pushes up her glasses and narrows her eyes until they're black slits. Shunsui Kyoraku grins up at her, tipping his hat in greeting. He knows very well that she's resisting the urge to kick him upside his head and send him rolling towards the ground—a plus, considering that they were on a rooftop.

He moans and says that he has a stomach ache, thus, disabling him from completing his daily paperwork, and the only way he'll live through this afternoon is if his lieutenant nurses him back to health—possibly wearing one of those short, little nurse outfits from Fourth—

A lieutenant, Shunsui thinks, grinning as he tumbles to the ground, should always have a temper to match their personality and appearance—in his lieutenant's case, a hot temper.

Ninth.

Kaname Tosen nods approvingly as he watches his lieutenant quietly deal with the wayward subordinates. They are new in this division, and thus, don't know how to behave properly. But they will. Especially if his lieutenant persists.

Kaname knows that he has taught his lieutenant well, and that he will regard justice as favorably as Kaname himself does.

A lieutenant should always see the same side of a situation as his captain.

Tenth.

She hugs him, perversely draping her arms around his shoulders. Toshiro Hitsugaya's eyebrows twitch as he feels the nape of his neck being engulfed in something skin-like and squishy and all-too jiggly. He winces, before swatting his lieutenant away and reprimanding her in a loud yell about drinking more than was safe for him—er, her.

She merely laughs as though his stumbling over words was the funniest thing in the entire world and proceeds to hug him again. And when he tries to swat her away once again, his hand comes into contact with two, large, squirming entities, and his face flames red.

Toshiro has no choice but to stay still as though a spitting cobra is watching him, and allow this demented creature they call a lieutenant hug him.

A lieutenant should definitely always be sober—and, Toshiro holds his breath as the pale, moving flesh draws nearer to his face—definitely a man.

Definitely.

Eleventh.

She squeals in delight and wraps her little arms around his neck. Kenpachi Zaraki's grin is feral as he looks over his shoulder to glance at her. His lieutenant always gets excited like this before going into battle with a brand new opponent. She really is endearing as she adjusts her zanpakuto and clasps her hands on the back of his captain's robe. At the smell of blood, she practically coos in delight and starts singing, "Ring Around the Rosy" at full volume, taking particular delight at the part with the ashes and the falling.

A lieutenant should always know how to enjoy a good fight—and life.

And death.

Twelfth.

Mayuri Kurotsuchi yawns loudly at his lieutenant. She bows her head and holds out the clipboard of statistics for the experiment at hand. He looks over them and begins to see red. He turns them faster, since they are making him furious. With a shout of frustration, he chucks the clipboard at his lieutenant and begins to yell at her and then proceeds to question her capability of functioning as though she _isn't_ a retarded, imbecilic whore.

She bows her head again and apathetically states that if he isn't pleased with the rates that he should adjust the experiment's variables. He narrows his eyes and threatens her with disembowelment. She shakes her head and chastely lowers her eyes and apologizes. He smiles. Much better.

A lieutenant should always know that the captain is forever right and never wrong.

Thirteenth.

He laughs with the new subordinate—a little dark-haired noble girl, whose huge midnight eyes take up half her pale face—and she smiles hesitantly back. Jushiro Ukitake watches this exchange from behind his near-translucent screen door and smiles to himself. His lieutenant had a way of making it into everyone's life as both a friend and a guardian, and in this case—if he observed right in the little noble girl's eyes—he'd have an admirer.

Jushiro coughs quietly and sips his tea, regarding the scrolls before him. Even if his illness gets to him one way or another, he already knows who has to be the next Thirteenth Division's captain.

A lieutenant should always be prepared to assume his captain's place.

It's true, lieutenants can be replaced, but in each of their captains' eyes, they're all indispensable. Whether you merely need a naïve, little pawn to be trained, used, and then ridden of, or whether you want to trace the pattern of their continuous chain of tattoos with your lips.

But perhaps few captains ever realize what a lieutenant really is.

A double-edged sword.

You have to destroy it before _it_ figures out that _it_ can destroy _you_.

And even fewer actually proceed.


End file.
